Harmony Mackenzie Academy Host Club
by ICan'tDrownMyDemons72029
Summary: Sirius Delarosario is a straight A student going to the elite HMA to become the greatest defense attorney like his deceased mother. Living with his brother Dante, dealing with an emotional Prince, and having crazy friends proves to actually be possible.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC, Holes, Sirius, Theodore, Rex, Hector, or the original scriptish stuff. I only own my OCs Sookie, Divina, Dante, and many more.

This has Holes RP characters, but the plot of Ouran Highschool Host club.

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><p>I've always known about death. It happens everyday. To get to my house, you have to pass by a cemetary for the military. There were always lots of services daily, so I always saw caskets being placed in the ground. Personally, death never scared me, nor did it really mean anything to me. It's not like I was in denial that death happened, it's just that death never happened around me. And for a while, that's how it stayed. The only death around me were bugs and dead cats I saw on the street when my big brother, Dante, would walk me places... I never knew my father, apparently mum and him were married up until the point he decided he wanted something else, by then I was a few months old. He didn't want custody of Dante or I, despite him capable of getting a amazing lawyer who could paint my mum as Medusa. But that was fine, all the family I needed was my mother and big brother. As long as nothing bad happend to them, then life was good... but life isn't fair. Death finally decided to effect my life by taking away my mum. Mum was driving us home when some bloody drunk idiot decided to swerve into our lane. She panicked and crashed into a tree. One thing you would never know about Mum was that she had Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a.k.a. Brittle Bone disease, Type I. It made her bones incredibly fragile. She took medication, but they didn't last long. Thinking back on it, it's amazing she managed to have two childen without dying. But back to the crash, Dante and I were fine, but mum's ribcage broke and some of her bones shattered and stabbed a lot of vital organs. I remember standing above the open casket with my brother. A five year old and a sixteen year old were orphans. The government wanted to put us up for adoption, but my brother wouldn't have it. Dante begged the court to let us just be on our own. In two years he would be an adult anyway. They agreed and from then on Dante took care of me. But if you think that it became some sort of fairy tale where the older brother becomes a CEO of some well known corporation, then you need to stop thinking that. Dante really wanted to be a cop, but with a five year old to come home to and a trust fund he couldn't access until he was legal and married, he had to abandon his dream to take care of me. He may not acknowledge it, but I'm indebted to my brother. He was like those teen parents, minus the person he's raising is his child. Someday, I hope I can be just as strong as he was for me... But for now, I have to focus on making my dream come true.. And that's to take over my mum's law offices. After she died, her partner, Mister Theodore, took over and told me that if I can pass the bar exam, I can take my mum's place in Smith, Delarosario, and Company. To get there, I have to attend this place. Harmony Mackenzie Academy (on a scholarship, might I add. I could never afford to go on Dante's paycheck). Mister Theodore told me about it, his brothers, Rex and Hector, go there (But they go on daddy's dime). He said that only those with excellent social standings and those from filty rich families are lucky enough to spend their time at the elite private school Harmony Mackenzie Academy.<p>

That's where my story begins...

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><p>So how do you like it? Written in first person point-of-view, unlike usual. Mostly because you get a better personal feel, but I'll probably switch up the POVs. This is a crossover between one of the best animes Ouran Highschool Host Club and the Holes RP I'm in. This will feature all the characters. I don't know how many appearances everyone will get, but I'll try to let everyone who isn't the dynamic duo (Sookie and Sirius, whom play Haruhi and Tamaki) or in the Host club have at least five appearances. And the finale will definitely have everyone around. Please review!<p> 


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One: Can This Be Considered Prostitution?**

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><p>"Sirius, are you coming straight home?" a flour covered Dante asked from the small kitchen of their apartment.<p>

"No," the latter replied while slipping into his beat up, black, Converse sneakers. "I'm going to find a nice, quiet place to study at."

"Alright, come home by six, the latest is seven," the older Delarosario ordered.

"Got it," after securing the laces of his shoes, he ran out of the house and headed for school.

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><p>"Sookie, Mister Pevensie is on the telephone," the host member's maid stated while handing the teen the phone.<p>

"Merci*, Lulu. Tell Monsieur Sir I will be down at the limo in a few minutes."

"As you wish," the woman replied before closing the bedroom door.

Eagerly, a brown eyed Sookie brought the electronic close to their ear.

"Good morning, mon ami*~!"

"Sookie, please, it's too early in the morning," the male groaned on the other end.

"So what are the profits?"

"Same as usual, no improvement," he stated with a frown.

"What? That is just not acceptable! You and I are just going to have to come up with some new cosplaying ideas!"

"Will do, hurry up and get to school."

"Alright, see you in a few."

The ginger hung up the landline and inspected their image in the mirror. Red mane tamed by a light amount of mousse, clear contacts perfectly in place, all seventeen individual freckles unmoving... Everything was in order. Sookie grabbed the backpack hanging on the closet doorknob and ran out of the bedroom to meet the chauffeur.

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><p><strong>~ Sirius' Pov ~<strong>

My body ached terribly from running laps in gym, Coach Briggs didn't like my 'tone', apparently, so I was forced to run twenty more laps while everyone else was already gone or off doing their own things. Once I had my normal attire back on, I stood in front of the many full length mirrors and checked out my appearance. My pale skin clashed with the colours of my wrinkled blue dress shirt and simple black jeans. Even though I was told by the school board that I was eligible for financial aid, there was no way that I would embarrass my brother by asking him to sign the paperwork. It would hurt his pride as the breadwinner. As usual, my unruling curls were going in twelve different directions, giving me a wild lion look, something I knew for a fact I was not pulling off. God, I look like Kevin Jonas. My grey eyes, a trait that made Dante and I so different, made me want to break the mirror into millions of pieces. My mum and big brother were blessed with the Delarosario cocoa eyes. Mum's were the most brilliant shade of cinnamon brown in the world and Dante's could only be described as a dark coffee colour. But me, me on the other hand, according to Mum, I have our father's eyes. Silver with flecks of baby blue that seemed to show my emotions so easily that for years I could never tell a lie. Running one hand through my raven locks and using the other to smooth out my clothes, I heard the creak of the lockerroom door and turned my head in that direction.

"Hey! Everyone out of the lockerroom, last warning!" someone shouted before closing the door.

I sighed, "Time for some studying."

My shoulder bag was already in place, the cheap material threatening to rip at any second due to the four heavy textbooks, six college ruled notebooks, small pack of pencils and other stationary items, and_ A Study in Scarlet_ weighing it down. I made my way out of the foul smelling room and into the much more clean hallway that only smelled of lemon _Pledge_. Walking away, I thought of the several places I could go. The courtyard was a nice and serene place, but I think that I may have a pollen allergy and I ran out of the drugstore brand allergy medicine I bought about two weeks ago. Classrooms were usually the headquarters for the various clubs. My homeroom being the base of operations for some stupid hormonal teenage boy club where they looked at porn magazines and talked about anything related to sex... Ick. The library... I don't want to think about the last time I was there after school... the bookcase.. and the moans... the two girls... when I got home, I tried to wash my eyes out with _Mister Clean_ and _Chlorox_, but my brother came home and scolded me on being overly dramatic... Was there really no good place for me to study? A huge campus like Harmony Mackenzie Academy and there was no sanctuary at-I peered down at my watch to see what the day was: Wednesday. Wednesdays the Third Music Room was empty, at least that's what I had heard at orientation. All the other Music Rooms were used for piano lessons and et cetera save for that room in particular. And that just made it all the more charming to me. Classical music playing in the background from the music clubs and the beautiful sight of the courtyard from the window made me agree that the Third Music Room was the ideal studying place! And off I went to go to that particular place, with a particular task, and not looking for a particular person...s.

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><p>I practically skipped up the steps on my way to the Music Rooms. It was like I imagined, the beautiful medleys leaked through the Music Rooms. I even did a mini victory dance while going up the stairs. Just as I clasped the fancy looking doorknob in my pale hands, it swung open, pulling me with it. All I felt was the feeling of falling and tumbling around then something hard pressing against my back, then finally the cold tile and something else bit into my back. My eyes closed in pain, it hurt far too much. Gasps resonated from every corner of the room. Why would there be people in here..?<p>

"Hey, are you okay?" I felt a hand pulling me up by both of my shoulders. Opening my eyes, I saw that it was a girl with blonde hair. And how close her face was too mine was a little too close for my liking.

"F-fine," I backed up, feeling shards of hard stone trying to break my skin. Of course it hurt, but I wanted to get as far away from this blond-there's something soft against my head. With a 180 degree turn of my head...

"Wow, you must like my boobs to put your face in them," another blonde girl commented who's breasts I was just face to face with.

"Nnnnnooo, that's not it! I-I'm so sorry!"

"You guys! He broke the bust!"

"You're right, he broke it!"

"What?" turning around, I realized just what broke my fall.. and what broke in the process. A grey broken bust of what looked like it was once a man. "Oh, I didn't mean to! It was an accident, honest!"

I saw a brunette out of the corner of my eye running towards something, so I turned in her direction to see her using a antique looking phone the classrooms had and calling someone. Her eyes were blown wider than what they probably were and her chest was heaving up and down.

"Hello, main office?.. Some guy ran into the Third Music Room and broke the famous bust! And then he shoved his face into a girl's chest!.. Yes, I saw the whol-"

"No! It was a accident!"

"Relax," the first blonde girl said. "You guys, it's probably just all one big misunder-"

"Alright, who am I looking for?" a man jogged through the open doors and his brown eyes landed on me quickly. I mean, how could he? I was two feet away from him with two blonde girls surrounding me, a fallen pillar, and a broken bust near me.

_'Jeez, am I fucked or what?'_

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><p>After that loud mouthed girl called security on me, I was hauled off to court... Harmony Mackenzie Academy has a actual court inside of it's perimeter. Rich people, honestly. A dark skinned security guard I had become social with named Roscoe Northmanner directed me to the apparent defendants table. He gave me a sympathetic look before exiting the room. For some odd reason or another, a good chunk of the student body filled what I assume to be juror stands. And this is during after school hours. In a few minutes after everyone behind me was situated and quiet, a man I have never seen before entered wearing a black suit and brilliant green tie. His bright grey hair contrasted with his sallow skin and stoic face. He was a thin man with light wrinkles here and there on his face giving him a grandfather feel to him. If memory served, he was either the principal or the superintendent. Something along those lines of great importance and power at HMA to be leading my trial.<p>

"Mister Wooster, as you are new to this school and never attend any sort of school functions, allow me to introduce myself. I am Chancellor Rickon Williams."

Right on the bullseye! I did a mini victory dance in my head. I may not care who he is, but I guessed what job title he had.

"Are you aware of why you have been brought to me?" he asked, voice underlined with overall boredom.

_'No, I was just merrily skipping down the halls when Roscoe tackled me like a linebacker.'_

"Yes, sir, I broke some famous bust that was inside the third music room," I answered, doing my best not to sound at all sarcastic.

"Mister Wooster, you must understand that I cannot simply allow you to leave when you broke our very school's beautiful bust of Sir Ronan Mackenzie IV that the founder herself gave us," the Chancellor stated. "While the bust was irreplaceable, a sum of sixty six million dollars does not sound unreasonable."

"Sixty six million?!" I gaped. "I can't afford that!"

Someone sitting in the juror stands laughed, "I make that much in a month working at my dad's corporation!"

The comment received several more snickers and giggles. Great, my poverty tickles their funny bone. Biting my lip, I tried to think of something. If the Chancellor was serious about me paying this million dollar debt, I had to stop sleeping and end up dropping out of school and get a different job for every hour of the day... Why am I such a fuck up? I think my mum is turning in her grave at the audacity. I guess during my silence, my face contorted into something that just led to the entire student body laughing once more. Man, rich kids are assholes.

"I'll pay!" someone shouted above all the joyous sounds.

"Excuse me," with a single hand movement, Rickon Williams ushered the teenagers to quiet down. "Who spoke?"

"I did," the guy, Sonny, stood up, hip jutting out slightly in a girly fashion. Probably gay.

"It's Sookie!" a girl to my left shrieked before a thud followed. Did she just faint?

"Ohmygod,he'ssohandsome!" another screamed.

_'Oh, his name is Sookie, I was close.'_

"Mister Walker, mind restating what you said moments ago?"

"Not at all, Chancellor Williams, I will pay this young man's sixty six million dollar fee," he replied, eyes closed and radiating a perfectly cool and suave aura.

Several girls screamed things like_ generous_ and_ total package_ until that Edward kid stood up next to him and tugged on his blazer.

"Settle down," the only present adult ordered. "Mister Walker, what are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting that I pay for Monsieur Wooster's debt... in exchange, he pay off his debt to me working for the host club."

His answer resulted in everyone shouting and whispering. Jeez, and I thought being the poor student couldn't get any worse. Guess I was wrong about that too.

"Oh, reaaaaaaallly?" he drawled out the word.

"Yes, sir," Sookie removed himself from the throng of students and walked to stand next to me in the defendant's seat. "According to the school newspaper, Mack News (Gee, what two brain celled kid thought of that?), Monsieur Wooster here is this school's first and only student who gained passage into this famous school through a full ride scholarship."

_'Thank you for throwing my business out there,'_ I thought sarcastically.

"I'm well aware of your father's decision, Mister Walker. But I don't see why you would want to have him working for you."

He laughed, "It's simple really, I want labour. My club is quite exclusive, so the only people in it are the actual members. And you know that we are passionate about our duties to the young ladies who walk through those doors. It's awful leaving our guests just to slice a cake or find some sweets." Sookie turned around to look at the jurors stand, "After all, les belles princesses* would love spending more time with us, oui or non*?"

"OUI OUI!" shrill high pitched voices screamed.

I looked around to see that girls were actually fucking crying.. are they serious?! He puts on this knight in shining armour act and the girls are losing their minds.

"So what would Mister Wooster be doing?"

"Easy tasks for a commoner," the audience laughed, jackass. "Serve tea and coffee, bring us cake and tarts, clean up after we're all done, and do whatever else the members don't want to do."

Chancellor Williams raised a grey brow, "He wouldn't be a member?"

_'What kind of club is this guy from exactly?'_ I wondered, twitching my fingers nervously.

Sookie turned and looked at me. That's when I finally examined him while he did the same. He had red hair (Like a Weasley, haa) and soft brown eyes. His face was lightly covered in freckles and he was very scrawny. Standing close, Sookie looked about 5"8, 5"9. When I went to look back at his face, a smirk graced his obviously handsome (No homo intended) features. The redhead turned to look at the so called Judge.

"I see potential, but I think Monsieur Wooster would be much more comfortable working as a butler of sorts rather than a host."

_'Host? Like an entertainer? Is he in charge of some FYE or something?'_

The Chancellor hummed a response, "Mister Wooster, what do you think of this decision?"

"I-I think it's a pretty good idea, sounds fine with me."

"It's settled," Williams pounded his gavel, "Mister Wooster will be paying off his sixty six million dollar debt to Mister Sookie Walker's Host Club."

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. Turning to look at the short redhead, he seemed to have the same idea and looked at me as well. With my lips pursed in a pout, I decided to vocalize my single thought.

"When do I start?"

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><p>After the trial, I went home and told Dante everything while we had his favourite chicken curry with white rice. There was no way in hell that I would keep such a huge thing from my big brother. He was shocked and angry for the most part, but towards the end when I told him about Sookie's so called act of kindness, his expression softened.<p>

"This is unbelievable, I have half a mind to call Mister Theodore and-"

"Dante, it's fine," I attempted to reason, "It's not like I do much anyway. Sookie told me that by the end of the year, I should have worked off my debt and be a free bird."

"I'm still a little sketchy about this Sookie character," Haha, his inner cop. "Gingers don't have souls you know."

"I've seen_ Children of the Corn_, I know just how evil a redhead can be."

We shared a good laugh, comparing Sookie the host member to Malachai the cult lieutenant. After dinner, Dante brought out two individual mini apple pies from Wal-Mart. They were the best snack after eating the warm, gooey stew like food.

When that was done and over with, I got started on my easy homework while listening to our favourite sitcom about those brainy scientists and their obviously cute neighbor Penny. It's pretty interesting, although it would make more sense that this was my favourite television program, since Dante occasionally asks me about what the definition of a word means or the constant reappearance of why one of the characters, Leonard had a dream about his roommate eating so much Thai food that another Sheldon appeared ("It's called Mitosis, Dante. Mit-" **"Nevermind, Penny's being cute"**). Matter of fact, I think he watches the show because the actress who plays Penny is attractive.

When_ Conan_ comes on and my homework is tucked away into my pitiful bag, I'm ordered to go to bed. After my teeth are brushed, face is washed, evergreen pajamas replace my outside attire, and my eyes are **still **grey, I hop into the plush California King mattress and curl up underneath the black blanket. Dante arrives shortly after my body has relaxed and plugs in the_ X-Men_ nightlight (Judge all you want, it's comforting and I enjoy seeing Gambit plastered onto the white wall). The brown eyed male flicks the light switch off, strips off his yellow striped polo and gets into bed with me. No, this isn't some creepy ass VC Andrews book material incest stuff! After Mum died and we could no longer afford to live in our childhood home, we moved into our ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT (It was all we could afford, okay?!) When we moved in, I confessed to my brother that I was scared to sleep by myself. He understood like the compassionate person he is and we brought Mum's old bed to our new home and we have shared it since then... that was twelve years ago and we still share a bed together. Fortunately, the bed's big enough for both of us to sleep in without being shoulder to shoulder.

Dante pulled me out of my thoughts by jabbing me in the forehead. "Oww, what's that for?!"

"Go to sleep." He was laying on his back staring up at the plain ceiling. "You have a very big day tomorrow."

Groaning, I rolled onto my side to face the wall with Kurt Wagner as Nightcrawler on it. "Don't remind me."

"It'll be alright," the oldest of us reassured, "You're eager to please others and you learn things pretty quickly and perfectly."

We laid in silence until he opened his stupid mouth, "Except that you can't chop tomatoes to save your life."

Glaring over my shoulder at the somewhat visible face, I replied with a hiss, "Shut up, asshole!"

"You memorized the Periodic table, but can't cut up a plump, red fruit."

Still staring at him over me shoulder, I gave him a smug look before going back to staring at the fuzzy, blue elf. "And that is why you are the cook in the house and I'm the prodigy."

"Damn, relax, Doctor Cooper. You really do need some sleep."

"Fine, goodnight... Howard."

I went to bed knowing that I won our _Big Bang Theory_ war. Sirius Antonello Delarosario... winning!

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><p>I casually walked to the science building with a little swagger in my step. Sure, today was going to be my first day of being a butler, but last week, Miss Inge (AP Chemistry teacher), was so impressed with my vast knowledge that she's entrusted me with a pair of keys to the roof! And since afternoons can no longer be dedicated to studying, I'll just have to use my free periods to study up on the roof. According to said teacher, there are all sorts of outdoor furniture up there because that's where the science teachers go to have meetings about their shared profession. But of course there are telescopes for the astronomy classes when they have their lock ins and camp up there and check out all that jazz.<p>

"HEY!"

_'Why are people yelling so early in the morning?'_

"YOU! YOU WITH THE FACE!" the same voice called.

That's very descriptive, I commented sarcastically.

"Si-Sirius!" She's calling me?

Spinning on my heel, I faced one of the blonde girls from yesterday. Along with a dark skinned girl, a tan one, and a chubby brunette. They all wore the standard uniforms, save for the blonde and the dark girl, who had on what I assume are cheerleader uniforms. I waited a little impatiently for the girls to reach me. When the blonde girl did, she panted slightly and smiled.

"You're the guy who ran into the Host club yesterday," she announced, pointing her index finger at me.

"Oh, so that wasn't a nightmare after all?" I stated sarcastically.

I've heard horror stories about rich girls. They're all snobs that spend way too much time at the mall or ballet studios and have a arsenal of credit cards in their father's name. They only date the jocks or the bad boys, never the boy next door that's been there for them forever. Oh, and let's not forget that they're normally concerned greatly about their appearance and spend about 75% of their lives in front of mirrors.

The blonde laughed, "Yeah, I guess it is a nightmare. My name's Heather. Heather Winter."

"Arista Costa."

"Alie Rivers."

"Nathalia Flores."

"Good morning to all of you, may I ask why you guys have decided to introduce yourselves to me?"

"Oh, well we already kind of know eachother," Nathalia pointed out.

"Yeah," Heather agreed, "The three of us have PE together!"

"And we have lunch at the same time everyday," the one that looked like she was of Latin/Hispanic descent said.

"We honestly don't know eachother," Alie commented, scratching her head.

"Since you guys have taken the time to introduce yourself, it would be impolite of me not to do the same. (That and Mum would scold me in the afterlife about it) Sirius Wooster, though you probably already knew that."

"We did," they announced in sync.

"Splendid," I replied with fake enthusiasm, going as far as throwing my hands up.

"You're not much of a people person," Nathalia smirked.

"No, not really. What do you guys want anyway?"

"Well Alie," Arista pointed at the chubby girl wearing glasses, "Thought that it would be a good deed if we briefed you on the Host Club."

"Wouldn't want you traumatized on your first day," said girl laughed.

"That would be terribly unfortunate." Peering down at my watch (No, it's not a_ X-Men_ one. You're ten years late), the shorthand pointing at seven and the longhand directed at ten. "Listen, I'm on a schedule, I'd like to get to the science building before the morning bell chimes. So if you insist on educating me on those charming blokes, I suggest you come with me."

The girls all nodded their head in unison and followed me to my new studying location. For the most part, they were quietly whispering amongst themselves. Which is fine by me, no need to talk. We walked up the stairs outside that led to the roof, Miss Inge requested that if I used this spot during school hours, I use the outside entrance. When I pulled out the key to the roof, Nathalia made her presence known.

"How did you get that?"

"A reward for being a genius," my tone a little too haughty. But I wasn't trying to be modest.

"I see," she responded, twirling a raven lock between her thumb and forefinger.

After successfully unlocking the the hatch (Are they prepared for a zombie invasion?), I pulled away from the door and motioned for the girls to go ahead of me.

"Ladies first."

"You're not going to sneak a peek under our skirts, are you?" Alie questioned warily.

Despite the fact that I wanted to continue being stoic, there was no way hiding the small heat in my cheeks.

"Not even if my life depended on it."

Alie gave me a smile before climbing up the steep stairs, followed by Arista and the two cheerleaders. Once all the girls were standing around taking in the lovely sight of the landscape. My eyes scanned the area as well, picking up on all the potted orchards and typical yet classy patio furniture that looked like it came directly out of a Southern Living magazine Mum used to leave all over the house. The only thing missing is a blonde woman serving lemonade.

"Hey!" Heather was standing near a mini fridge disguised as a out of place shrub, "There's lemonade in a can in here! Anyone want some?"

_'Picture complete."_

Casually, I dropped my heavy bag onto the floor and plopped myself onto the lounge made out of some sort of dark stone with snow white cushions.

"So tell me about my new employer and his cronies."

Simultaneously, the girls who had all smiled at me and given off such a sweet vibe all shared the same "Say that one more time and I'll serve you your kidney on a stick" look.

"Don't call them that," the only blonde attempted to throw the can at my head, but I caught it. "The host club has really decent guys."

"They're beyond decent," Alie corrected.

"Sorry," my apology was not sarcastic, but not sincere. None of them either detected it or decided not to call me out on it.

"Well first off, Sookie Walker is the President of the HMA Host Club," Arista began. "He moved from France about three years ago and entered during his Sophomore year. And his dad is our school's Chairman, but they don't have the same last name. We don't know much on that subject, so I wouldn't ask even if given the chance. We call him the Prince type."

"Why?"

"He treats every girl like one and even calls them princess in different languages or French, like you witnessed in Court the other day," the girl explained. "Plus, he has this regal and noble air no other guy here has. It's like he IS the prince of Harmony Mackenzie Academy."

"Got it, what about the Edward guy?"

"Edward..? Oh, you mean Edmund," Nathalia corrected. "Edmund Pevensie's the club's treasurer in charge of funds. In the club, he's the closest to Sookie and is always aware of what's going on since he is in charge of planning everything. Edmund asks what Sookie wants and he tries to get it."

"What's his type?"... I just realized how that came out.

"The Genius type, he ranks number four in the school's top ten high school students."

Ranks four? I tried to think of the last time I checked the list. I remember I'm currently tied for first with some girl named Gabriella Bentley. If memory serves, Sookie is third. And I think some guy with the last name Silver is ranked second. And someone with the name Canada is fourth. Then a person named David Bamforth is fifth,

"And then there's Brian, or we like to call him Twitch because..."

The rest of the morning was spent with these young girls telling me about the hosts and brief snippets of their pasts and rumours here and there that they knew were true or false. And I could tell at a instant that these girls seemed to have crushes on some of the members of the testosterone fueled club. Like how Alie seemed to ramble on about the good traits of a guy named Alan Morris or when Heather started grinning like crazy upon bringing up some guy affectionately called Zigzag. Apparently, a few of the host members had nicknames such as Zero (For a while, the only person he talked to was his brother until he joined the Host Club) and Magnet (He can afford anything he wants, but stealing is too fun to give up for him). Hopefully what the girls have told me will be true and that they won't use me as a slave and demand difficult and impossible labour.

The bell rang, telling everyone that the first class of the day was now over and that everyone should start heading to their next destination. I bid the group of friends goodbye and waited for them to leave to lock up and go to History... which turns out is with two host members.

* * *

><p>Status report for the day? My classes went by swimmingly, save for the too-long-to-be-considered-glances looks I gave to the apparent Prince of HMA and the gay and proud host (At least we know that he's not sleeping with the girls). Sookie Walker and Keith Hummel were the happy duo that sat behind me in my-our History class. Of course I didn't care to learn their names when we were put into the class together, in fact, I gave them nicknames: George Weasley and Porcelain. And now that I was aware of their presence, I knew just how much they talked in class. Not just with eachother. When I was too busy jotting down notes and Miss Carrow asked a question, one of them would raise their hand and answer it with a eloquent response. It was both surprising and rewarding to know that at least I'm not serving idiots. And not just any idiots~. Rich idiots.<p>

After that class I found out that the host club and I all had the same lunch. My silver eyes made contact with one of them that I instantly recognized as Rex Smith, Mister Theodore's younger brother. He was the only one who noticed me and motioned me with a single, dark finger. With feet planted firm to the floor, I looked from their table to the one I usually shared with the IB kids that never talked to me. And I guess in the time I spent with my gaze lingering on my normal spot (Dante dubs it my "Sheldon spot"), a hand wrapped around my wrist and yanked me to the table full of attractive (I guess, but I'm not gay or a girl). All the hosts stared at me as I was forced into sitting between the Smith siblings. Needless to say, it was beyond the most awkward lunch I've ever had since coming to this school.

Finally the day ended, but the most dreadful part arrived and hit me like a freight train. Upon arriving at the God forsaken Third Music Room, a guy with curly brown hair and golden eyes grabbed me by my arm and hauled me behind a pink curtain. The side of me that's seen_ The Crow_ over a hundred times makes my paranoia reach the ceiling. But when he threw a pair of dark gray slacks and a matching blazer at me, I realized why I was dragged. Uniform. When I was done, Sookie appeared and complimented me on being early and how fetch I looked in my new outfit. It was very awkward having all the girls staring at me and constantly referring to me as _commoner_ and_ boy_ like I was so beneath them. None of them were Gabriella Bentley (Whom I'm fighting to be the smartest at HMA), so they had nothing above me besides money and popularity. But neither of those things impress me. Fortunately, Dante was right about my fast learning. Cake was cut accurately, coffee was distributed evenly, and before a drop or crumb could fall, a napkin was there to catch it. Needless to say, my job is fairly easy. The requests were never insane and the girls are as prim and proper as Beauxbaton students (_Harry Potter_ reference, people). Thank God, I don't think I can handle working for a bunch of snobby divas for a hour and forty five minutes.

When I returned the uniform and ran as fast as I could home, Dante was in the kitchen warming up the leftovers from yesterday. I informed him about my day while setting out the mix match cutlery and plates. Since today was Friday, the _Big Bang Theory_ wouldn't be on. So after dinner, Dante turned on the old DVD player and I rifled through our meager DVD collection until I discovered _Iron Man_ and popped the disk in and scampered to the large brown monster we call a couch. Sharing a bowl of buttery popcorn, we enjoyed watching the movie for the millionth time before retiring to the bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Sookie!" Zeroni burst through the doors, making me spill the contents of the fine china pot onto Miss Lawrence's (Great, even in my mind, I'm calling this twit<em> Miss<em>. Shoot me, please.) uniform.

"E-eeeek!" she shrieked jumping up.

"I'm so sorr-" I was pushed by a black and blue blur. "Watch it!"

"Sookie!" the host ran to the back where the club's Prince usually sat with his clients. Upon reaching the set of love seats, he jumped into the empty spot next to Walker. "Sookie! Why has my sugar budget decreased?!" emphasizing his point, he poked the taller one's nose. Okay, shit I don't care about, time to ignore and go back to my duties.

"Excuse me, Wooster, can you like help me clean up?" Miss Lawrence asked, eyes looking around for something.

"Oh, yes, of course!" Pulling my hanker chief out of my back pocket, I bent down to be closer to her wet legs, I carefully dabbed the light green liquid off her flesh.

"I-oh-um-" Miss Lawrence started to fidget, making the puddle of tea seep up higher into her lap and get her skirt wet.

"Please, stop moving, you're making this harder." With my eyes trained on her face, I realized her cheeks were tinted a bright red, matching her hair.

"Sorry," the red haired girl apologized, "It's just that my skirt is starting to get my undies wet."

My face started to heat up like crazy. Why did that idiot have to startle me?

"Hehe, well I have a pair of clean gym shorts you can wear if you'd like?"

With my awesome hearing, the sound of shuffling feet surrounded the couch I was currently stationed at with Keith's clients.

"You'd really do that for me?" she asked, messing with the end of her skirt.

"Why not? It would be against everything my mum taught me about being a gentleman if I didn't. Yay or nay?" I questioned the girl, now finished with wiping up the green tea.

"Well if it's not too much trouble."

"Miss Lawrence, I insist."

She worried her bottom lip by grinding it between her perfect teeth. Her eyes flickered from my face, to her skirt, her peers, and repeated until I stood up and extended my hand.

"Come, let's get this over with. I'll personally clean your skirt."

"Really?" her eyes lit up brightly like the summer sky on the fourth of July (Damn, did not mean to rhyme!). "You can clean my skirt?"

"Yes..?" I replied a bit hesitantly.

The girls previously sitting on the couch with her jumped to their feet and crowded around me.

"You know how to use a washing machine?"

"Uh-huh," crap, not articulate enough. "I mean, I do the laundry at home. Now if you'll excuse me." I walked away from the flock of chicks (Hehe) and over to the small closet that housed all our schoolbags. After unlocking the door, I picked up my bag and unzipped it to find my light gray basketball shorts. Luckily for Miss Lawrence, there was a surprise test in the Health portion of the class, so my class did not have to go to PE. Carelessly tossing my bag back and making sure the door was locked, I returned to the girl's side and handed her the shorts.

"There's a changing room in the back," I used my right index finger to point at the back wall where there was a long pink curtain hiding the small rectangle shaped changing area.

"T-thank you!" her blush reappeared on her face as she scurried off to change clothes.

With a sigh, I acknowledged Edmund's presence. "What?"

"That was rather noble of you," he commented, arms crossed, left hand playing with a pen.

"Just because I'm a commoner," I spat the word out like cud, hoping to offend the high and mighty host member, "Doesn't mean I was going to let her have the front of her skirt sopping wet."

The male smirked at me, "Save your breath, Wooster. We both know you don't want to talk to me."

"Offense intended, I feel more comfortable talking to your cult leader over there," I pointed in Sookie's direction, whom looked like he was having a heated argument with Zeroni.

Miss Lawrence returned, holding her dirty skirt and giving me a shy smile. I reached out for the article of clothing and casually moved away to go toss it into the washing machine. When I had the uniform piece in with the fabric softener and detergent and the machine was on, once again a crowd formed around me.

"You're amazing!"

"Not really, it's a basic skill that anyone like me has to know," I explained. "My family doesn't have fancy maids to clean for us, so doing laundry is easy to do."

"That's wonderful, but why doesn't your mother do it?" a blonde girl asked.

"... My mum is dead, I live with my older bro-"

"OHMYGOD,YOUPOORTHING!" the girls shrieked.

"I-it's not that big a deal, ladi-"

"What about your father?"

"He's not in the picture, he decided that he didn't want my brother and I."

"WHAT'SWRONGWITHHIM?!HOWCANHENOTLOVEYOU?!"

"Please stop yelling," I asked while pinching the bridge of my nose with my eyes shut tight. "You're giving me a migraine."

A medley of apologies filled the air around us. One of them with hazel and green eyes and brown hair shyly raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"You are not a host member, correct?" her voice was laced with a thick European accent. Possibly from Czechoslovak-wait, it's the Czech Republic now, or Romania.

I shook my head, black dandelion like hair moving with me. "No, a housekeeper of sorts."

"Excuse me, what is your name?"

"Sirius, Sirius Wooster."

She extended her delicate looking hand to me, "Viviana Lovett."

"Well Miss Lovett, I have things to do. So if you and the entourage of young ladies could return to your respective (Ha, that's a laugh) hosts and leave me to my duties that would be most appreciated." For good measure, I brushed my slightly chap lips against her knuckles. After releasing her hand, I noticed that several of the girls had pink cheeks.

And like that, the girls scurried off in a flash. Wow, I think I have powers to control people. I'm Charles Xavier! Minus the wheelchair and the baldness.

* * *

><p>At the end of Host Club, going on my third week, as I was placing a recently cleaned cup onto the drying rack (They're too delicate to be put in a dish washer apparently), someone tapped on my shoulder.<p>

"Yes?"

"It's me, Sookie," his slightly high pitched voice announced.

"What do you want?" my voice far more gruff and manly compared to the latter's.

"If I may have a word with you, there is something I would like to propose to you, Sirius."

"What is it?"

"You recall a week ago when Hector ran into the room, startled you, causing you to spill hot tea onto Princess Diana's lap, oui?"

"Oui, boss."

"And as a result, you offered her your shorts and cleaned her skirt in our washing machine."

"What are you going at? I did a good deed for someone I barely know, so what?"

"What I mean, noir loup*, is that one more than one occasion has a beyond charming side of you appeared whilst at the side of the young Aphrodites that enter this room."

"Please tell me, dear Eros, do I come off as some boorish, poor, adolescent male?"

"Boorish? No. Poor? Not as wealthy as the others. Adolescent? You appear my age. Male? Well I've seen your record."

I rolled my eyes, "Wait, did you say you've seen my record? As in-"

"As in medical, high school transcript, permanent record, oh, and the adoption papers that says that your older brother, Dante, is your legal guardian."

My mouth probably dropped to the floor. God damn, he has too much power for a Prince of a Host Club.

"How do you get access to this stuff?"

"It's called my father, Duke Kirkland, is chairman of Harmony Mackenzie Academy. Plus," he gives me this obviously fake smile, "It doesn't hurt to charm the women working in the main office to let me see their files on you~."

_'Sneaky bastard.'_

"By the way, the bust incident isn't on your permanent record, if you're wondering."

_'Sneaky, redhaired bastard.'_

"And you are in need of new flu shots, checked med records."

_'Sneaky, redhaired, French bastard.'_

"Alright, let's skip all this bullshit, pardon my French, what does pointing out that I was nice to the customers have to do with anything?"

"How would you like to work off your debt quickly, say, two months before graduation?" His smile turned into a genuine one. I don't know whether to be relieved or worried.

That's when a lightbulb lit up in my Mind Palace, that's what he's saying.

"You mean I can become a host and work off my debt by flirting with girls with more eyelashes than they do brain cells?"

"More or less," Sookie replied, crossing his arms. "So far you have barely worked a dent into your debt. One request from let's say Miss Diana Lawrence costs a little over ten thousand dollars."

"Ten thousand?!"

"Ten thousand dollars. That would certainly get a good chunk of your debt to me. But since I don't want to stress Edmund out with keeping track of your income, I will say that by the end of the year, you must have one hundred girls request you."

"Are there any perks to the job?" I asked.

"Somewhat. Your popularity will rise, make a friend or two, possibly get a girlfriend, the outcomes are endless. Who knows, you could push me off my throne and become the Prince."

"Not likely, but none of these so called perks are very me."

"Hmm, well you know that I'm the chairman's son."

"Indeed I do."

"And has anyone talked about the Kirkland _grant_?"

"The what?" After drying my hands on the towel, I crossed my arms and stared at the shorter individual.

"My father, the Dean of Admissions, and the Counselor all vote on seven students to receive a grant of seventy thousand dollars."

"Seventy thousand? Seriously, who funds you people?! Does this cash just come out of your ass?"

The ginger laughed at me before replying, "My, wouldn't that be convenient? Our school has some of the most powerful people sponsoring us. And many of us come from prominent families. Of course, we have four fundraisers a year, and they are very famous amongst commoners and the rich folk." A smile tugged at his oddly pink lips (Should a guy's lips be that pink?), "And some of that money goes to said grants. Since I am my father's only son and I know many of the academically gifted students here, he occasionally asks me who should be the lucky receiver of such things." Sookie cleared his throat, "Now I've already told him to give one to Princess Gabriella Bentley, not that a young beauty such as herself would need it. She's practically the next Sheldon Cooper." (Did he just make a reference to the _Big Bang Theory_?)

"So how many are left?"

"Just one, and my father has given me permission to give the last one away." His smile grew, "Any chance that you'll allow me to turn you into a host, pay off your debt quicker, and still earn money for college?"

I bit my lip, could I accept his offer? Was it worth it? Lie to girls, pretend I care about them, flirt with them until the last of my dignity is down the drain? The bigger question is if my somewhat overbearing brother would even let me. Being my brother, he lets me do what I want without question. But I think if I tell Dante that I'm pimping myself out, he'll have a heart attack and join Mum in the ground. Then again, I could argue with him that it's for a good cause and any sort of extracurricular activity looks great on college applications. Let's see, eenie meenie miney moe. Catch a tiger by it's toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eenie meenie miney mo... I'm pissed for two reasons. One, I seriously used the eenie meenie miney moe thing to make a important decision. And two, that I'm going to say-

"Alright, I'll become a host if you hold up your end of the bargain."

"I'm a man of my word, by the end of your host duties and after you have paid off your debt, my father will present you with the Kirkland grant."

Nodding my head, I uncrossed my arms and sighed. "Now if that's the last thing, I'd like to go hom-"

"But wait, there's more~," Sookie sang. "You don't expect the girls to blush just by staring by looking so shabby, now do you?"

I glared, yep, he's a bastard alright.

"What's wrong with the way I look?"

_'Everything,'_ my mind shouted.

"Nothing major, your skin is flawless, a nice ivory colour, not too pale, but still not tan. You have striking bluish silvery eyes, I've only seen three or four other guys with eyes like yours. Two of whom you will be working with and play nice with. And you're thin-" He grabbed my forearm and gave it a squeeze. "Subtle muscles, the girls like that. Too much muscle makes hugs uncomfortable. Trust me. Smile, please."

Doing as I was told, I gave him a sheepish smile.

"Straight white teeth, good, no trip to the dentist."

"Okay, so what exactly are you going to change about me?" I asked.

"Get a haircut, change of school wardrobe, and maybe a little French to class it-"

"Monsieur Sookie, je comprends que je ne suis pas la classe aussi haut que vous, mais je serais reconnaissant si vous n'avez pas me traiter comme une poup e Ken*."

Sookie quirked a perfect brow (Since when did guys have their eyebrows waxed?) before responding with a obviously legit accent, "Magnifique, Monsieur Sirius. Soyez assurer que je suis en aucun cas essayer de vous changer radicalement. Pensez-y comme plus d'un contact vers le haut d'emplois, de sorte que personne ne pense toi comme leur moindre simplement parce que vos boucles ont tendance vous faire ressembler une fleur de pissenlit et de votre manque d'une cole d livr uniforme. Comprendre*?"

"Comprende," I repeated. "So over the weekend, do you want to do all thi-"

"Now, now is good! Allons-y*!" And with that, he grabbed ahold of my wrist and dragged me to the front door. Everything around us started to fly past, all my eyes focused on was the ginger speeding through the halls and soon out the main entrance towards a parked limo. The chauffeur stationed at the rear door had on a cowboy hat rather than a normal cap and clumsily opened the door before Sookie tossed me in and jumping in himself.

Carefully, I gripped onto the seat and quickly sat down before the other male could do anything hasty. "So did you just assume that I would agree or-"

"Well Monsieur Sir's job is to take me to and from places, so he was already waiting here for me. But I'm a man of action, so I decided that it would be fun to take you to a hairdresser today while the day is still young."

"One of those people who goes on impulse, eh?" I asked.

"I do what I want," he smirked.

The limo shifted when Mister... Sir entered the car. A tinted black screen separating us from him rolled down.

"Sir, destination?" he had a typical gruff voice.

"_John Frieda Hair Care Salon_," the freckled male replied.

"As you wish."

* * *

><p>Phil Thresh, the tattooed and biker-esque hairstylist at John Frieda's salon commented that after managing my curls, that I was-and I quote "Like a phoenix rising from it's own ashes". Nice meaning, but very melodramatic. Although I did have to admit that I looked better than before. After Sookie paid the bill, he didn't even look at the price (I did, four hundred dollars for a simple trim?), the redhaired student ushered me back into the limousine and her personal chauffeur drove us back to school where I was hauled off to the main office. Sookie did all the talking, telling the office assistant that he would be paying for a months worth of standardized uniforms for me. The only time I spoke there was to tell them my size and if they fit or not. Once thirty white dress shirts, fifteen baby blue blazers with the HMA school patch, ten black ties with a single purple stripe going down, thirty black trousers, and five shiny, black, dress shoes were put into five boxes specifically to house the exact amount of those items were in my arms (What can I say? I'm strong.), we said goodbye to the dazed office worker and returned to the limo. As Mister Sir drove off, I realized the one flaw of today.<p>

"Wait, Sookie, I left my bag back in the Music Room!"

"Relax, I'd like to go home soon, it's thirteen past six and I would love to have dinner before tonight's episode of_ Glee_. It's the season premiere and I've been waiting to see the reuniting of Tike."

_'And another teenager falls prey to the hypnotic appeal that is Glee,'_ I thought with a smirk.

"And what do you propose I do about my belongings?"

"I will send my maid here to retrieve our stuff and drop it off to you, simple as that."

I scowled, Sookie would bother someone who's workplace is the Walker-Kirkland home just to get our stuff? Geez, what a prat. Then again, I should probably bite my tongue, when someone buys you a months worth of finely made clothes and a four hundred dollar haircut, you be nice.

"If you insist."

"Don't fret, Lumina rarely wants to leave the house these days. Giving her a errand will finally push her out. The only time she leaves is to help take care of my garden."

"If it's_ your_ garden, then why is _she_ managing it?" So much for being nice.

Sookie didn't respond with any animosity like I had expected.

"All the flowers are mine, I had them brought over from my old garden in France. I've never had a green thumb. Back home, my mama maintained the one there, every time I tried to plant something, it would die. But it would not feel like home without my garden, so I pleaded with my father to accept a shipment from there, so I can feel comfortable."

_'Open mouth and insert foot, you jackass,'_ I thought.

"I meant no offense... much."

"None taken, mon ami."

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence. We pulled up to my apartment complex and I rejected Sookie's offer to help me by carrying the boxes of ties and shoes. There was no way I was prepared to introduce my big brother to the foreign and whimsical individual that is Sookie Walker. Later on that night after dinner and during our _Big Bang_ _Theory_ time, a woman dressed in a typical French maid outfit with red hair and rather large.. assets arrived with my bag in her hands and told me that she wishes me the best of luck handling the craziness that is her employer's child. I bid her goodbye... hopefully forever.

* * *

><p>On a average day, there are about a hundred or less students hanging around the main entrance of Harmony Mackenzie Academy where there are about twenty wooden benches and a variety of fruit bearing trees and two stunningly beautiful fountains squirting spring water into the air (And repeat). So perhaps there are seventy three people here, two pairs of eyes each. Mental math results in a hundred forty six eyeballs of all colours trained on me. And why? Because I, Sirius Wooster, am walking down the cobblestone path wearing what they're wearing, the expensive HMA issued uniform and a new haircut. Many of the girls were whispering around me. Some weren't even trying to be subtle about it. Then a blonde blur appeared in front of me, stopping me in my tracks. I recognized her as "Princess Kerri" (Now that I'm a host, I have to call them princess instead of miss), she always sported the blue, white, and gold cheerleader uniform for the Varsity team and a smile. She's one of Sookie's customers, at the Host Club everyday. Today, she donned her head with a brown fedora, a matching trench coat that ended at her knees, and her Yoda backpack (I seriously believe she only bought it because she thought it was cute).<p>

"Yes, Princess?"

"Hi," she chirped, "I'm Kerri Cleary, journalist for _Mack News_! Sookie told me that you joined yesterday."

"Indeed I did," my voice was even and mellow. "Let me guess,_ Mack News_ wants a exclusive column dedicated to the new host?"

Princess Kerri nodded, "Yep! You're willing to do it, right?"

"Do I have much of a choice? On one hand, I can refuse, but Sookie will probably tell me that it's a part of being a host and force me. And on the other hand, I can agree and get this over with. Ummmm... fine."

"Cool! You want to do it near the fountain?"

"Where ever you would like is fine with me," I replied.

"Alright," the blonde grabbed my wrist and happily skipped the fountain on my left that had a statue of what I assume is of the school's founder with water spewing from small fairy shaped statues. She sat us down on the stone bench that surrounded the water. As I took my time in situating myself on the gray surface, my companion used the opportunity to pull out a yellow pad, one pink _Hello Kitty_ pen, a electric blue camera, a black tape recorder (People still used those?), and a small box. "Can I take a picture of you? It's for my article."

"Go right ahead," I replied.

Kerri picked up the electronic again and started to fiddle with it until she spoke.

"One, two, three!"

A bright flash later and a quick examination of the image in her camera, she nodded in self satisfaction and put it down next to the box.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be. First question?"

"What's your name?"

"Sirius Wooster," I stated.

"How have you been enjoying your time at HMA?" she read the question from her pad.

"I like it here, it's better than my old school. About seventy three percent of the teachers there received their teaching degrees via online."

Princess Kerri nodded her head, wait, should I still be referring to her as Princess in my thoughts? I shifted my bag, so it was resting behind me.

"Next question, what made you accept Sookie's offer to become a host?"

"Well his reasons were terribly convincing. I don't think there was any way for me to say no. That guy is one smooth talker."

She giggled at my answer, "He really is, how do you think he got the school board to approve of his club?"

"Daddy is powerful?"

"Mister Kirkland didn't really care. My next question is how does it feel to have everyone around you watching you like hungry vultures? And to add to that, will you be comfortable now that you're a school celebrity?"

I'm pretty sure my black brows raised to my hairline.

"I have to admit that it's a tad annoying with everyone gawking at me like I'm dressed like a clown. And one can only assume that after today, everyone will look at me like I've grown a third nipple."

Did I mean to say that? But it didn't matter, the cheerleader/journalist burst into a fit of laughter. She threw her head back with her eyes closed and laughed loudly. Even more eyes landing on us. I guess I can't blame her, the third nipple thing is a little weird and beyond hilarious. When Kerri finally stopped, she looked down at her pad,

"Question four, how is your life at home? From several witnesses, you stated that you live with your older brother because your deceased mother-may she rest in peace-is not around and neither is your father."

"A little personal, don't you think?" I questioned and it's question five.

"Of course, our readers want to know as much about you as possible," the blonde responded.

I bit my lip before replying, "It's hard sometimes because Dante, my brother, doesn't exactly fit the requirements to be a mother and a father for me. But he does his best, and he's pretty damn good in my opinion. If I could have my mum back in my life? Of course. But since that's impossible, I would not want anyone else on this planet raising me besides Dante Luciano Delarosario."

"What about your dad?"

"Nope, Dante's a better father than he is on anyday."

A smile graced her face, "Glad to hear that."

"I have a few more short questions and one big one. Care to do the short ones super quick and then the biggie for last?"

"Hit me with your best shot," I replied. Staring at my watch, I had a little over sixteen minutes before the morning bells chimed.

"Got it. When is your birthday? What's your favourite movie? Are you double jointed? Any bad habits? Favourite show? What is your mother's name? A favourite actor and actress? If you woke up one morning as any animal, what would it be? Can you sing the Star Spangled Banner? What languages other than English do you speak? Are you ambidextrous? How old are you? What is your full ethnicity? If you had to, would you rather eat your left foot or your right hand? Do you believe in unicorns? What is your sexuality? Who is your idol? What do you want to be when you grow up?

"My birthday is January 6th, my favourite movie is _Iron Man_, yes, my right wrist is, I have a lisp when I'm tired or nervous, the _Big Bang Theory_ is my all time favourite television program at the moment, my mum's name is Divina Delarosario, actor is Simon Pegg, actress is Karen Gillan, I would want to be a black rhino just because, yes I can sing the national anthem, but not very well, sadly, no, I'm only right handed, I speak German, French, Tagalog, and Latin, although no one speaks Latin, it's a dead language, I'm seventeen, I'm British and Filipino, thus my clashing first name and surname, I would rather eat my left foot since I can only write with my _right_ hand, no, I don't think unicorns exist, no scientific evidence, I'm pansexual, don't really care, haven't met a guy or girl I've been romantically or sexually interested in, my idol is Sherlock Holmes and Gandhi, mostly because Sherlock's brilliant and Gandhi was a peaceful man, and when I grow up I want to be as successful a lawyer as my mum." God damn, that was a mouthful.

"Interesting answers, but wrong about the unicorns. Last one is can I stare into your eyes?"

"How is that a long question?" I asked.

"Oh, I just wanted to ask is seperate from the rest."

"Ah, go ahead," shrugging my shoulders, I scooted closer to the shorter teen.

She grabbed both sides of my face and made her diamond blue irises meet my steelish blues. Her eyes never left mine, keeping perfect eye contact. We stayed like this for what I can only assume four minutes until someone loudly cleared their throat. When we broke apart, I looked up to see the one and only Keith Hummel with a... Chewbacca backpack. I see, Keith bought his bag and Kerri wanted them to match.

"Hey, Keith," Kerri greeted kindly.

"Hi, sweetie, you all done harassing Sirius?"

"Just about," she stopped her tape recorder and put it back inside of Yoda (Oh that sounded weird) along with her pad of paper which along with the questions, had a doodle of a smiling panda in pink ink. Kerri looked at me once more before reaching into the still out box and pulling out a light brown treat. "Caramel?"

"Umm, I don't think I should, it's still early in the mor-"

This girl that I barely know just shoved a piece of caramel in my mouth. Now that it was in, I couldn't just spit it out, so I did my best to chew with the-

**FLASH!**

"Schluck! (Fuck, that didn't come out as 'fuck'!), Sherri!"

After another bright flash and a familiar giggle, Kerri leaped from her spot next to me, shoved her stuff back into Yoda (It still sounds weird) and ran off.

"Sorry, Sirius! Candid pictures are always cool!" she yelled, still running.

"Schluck my wife," I moaned. Teeth still stuck oddly together and the roof of my mouth feeling like I sucked on a stick of butter.

Keith, still standing near me, let out a chuckle. Together, we watched Kerri run closer and closer to the main building until she disappeared behind closed doors.

"That's Kerri for you, dedicated to her work." He looked down at me. "I hear you're our new addition."

I took a moment to compose myself and try to pick the caramel out of my teeth with my tongue. I already made a fool of myself once, let's not make it twice.

"Problem?"

"Quite the opposite actually," the brunette replied. "I'm rather impressed how handsome you look in Versace. You clean up good now that your curls look tamed."

"A four hundred dollar haircut can do that to a man," I stated before standing up.

"Four hundred? Must've gone to John Frieda's because _The Bungalow_, where I get my hair done, costs seven hundred."

"Seriously? What is wrong with you rich people?"

"Don't ask, you'll get too many different answers."

I started to walk away, "Nice chatting with you, Keith, but all good thinks must come to an end. See you this afternoon."

"Bye," his effeminate voice replied.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to the Host Club, princesse," the Prince of HMA greeted Viviana with a kiss to her palm. Said girl responded with a soft sigh and pink cheeks.<p>

"Hello, Sookie," she replied.

"Ladies, we have a new host available. Sirius."

My moves were stiff as I made my way to stand next to the shorter redhead. A crowd of fifteen or eighteen girls stood in front of me with scrutinizing eyes. One I recognized as Diana Lawrence, two as Scarlett and Starlett Manning, twins from my AP Chemistry class, and a fourth being...

"Nathalia?"

"Hey, pal!" the tanned girl said with a smile, moving from the back of the crowd to the front. That's when I noticed her three other friends trailing behind her. "We would like to be your first customers!"

I smiled shyly, at least I can be somewhat comfortable being around them.

"Well that sounds wonderful," I commented.

"It will be," Arista reassured. Her brown eyes looked around the room before setting on me. "Um, where should we all sit?"

"Sirius gets his own spot over near the window," Ricky Bellefleur, someone I find terribly odd since he stared at a broken television set showing only snow and claimed that _Two and a Half Men_ was on. Since my first day, I've seen Sookie control him when he gets a little too wild to be at school. And last week, him and the youngest Smith got into a fight after hours. Hector got a black eye, but Ricky's lip was bleeding. "We got you two couches and your own table. Once you get regulars, you'll get another." The other curly haired male looked down at the three girls and smiled at them, "Alie, Nat, Arista, Heatha~."

"Hi/hey/what up/evening, Ziggy!" the four girls responded.

We looked at eachother, giving eachother the traditional, teen male exclusive scan, you know, the thing that guys do to see if we should be intimidated by the latter. And my status report? I think we could do a good amount of damage to eachother in a fight before one of us won. Who? Do not know.

"I wasn't aware that success can be measured in pieces of furniture," I replied sarcastically.

"Well unless you want one of the princesses sitting on your lap, then a extra couch goes a long way," he smirked wickedly at the horrified look I don't doubt appeared. "Heather, don't become one of his regs. You're my favourite blondie princessie."

She blushed, a thick pink line appearing on her barely freckled cheeks, "Don't worry, I just want to make sure Sirius' first day goes well."

"Good," he bent his head down and kissed her cheek, "See you later, then!" On that note, he scampered off and jumped onto a couch where a good sum of girls were crowding around.

I raised a brow, "Are you sure you guys aren't dating? Or am I also expected to kiss you guys?"

"Only if you want to," Arista winked before laughing.

"Riiiiiight, let's go then." I walked off to the pair of empty Victorian style couches you'd see in _Pride and Prejudice_. The girls followed after me as I sat at the corner of the shorter couch. "So how does this work? I've seen the guys casually flirt with girls, ask them how their life is, feed them dessert, and ever slightly caress them."

"That's pretty much what goes on," Alie stated, crossing her legs. "But I think you'd like to start off with cheesy pick up lines."

"And please don't caress us," Heather warns.

"Why?" I asked incredulously.

"Well it's a ice breaker. You laugh, we laugh, someone brings up a story related to the pick up line and the awkwardness of your first day will go away, promise." The only brunette said.

I stayed quiet, there had to be something. I watch TV, Howard Walowitz and Tony Stark are constantly on the TV back home. I must know something about flirting from them.

"Ummm... You wanna go up and down my Stark tower?"

What?

"What?" the foursome questioned, eyes all blown wide and mouths threatening to touch sea level.

"Did you just say 'You wanna go up and down my Stark tower'?" Stanley Yelnats, the Nerdy type, and judging by the colour of his boxers that are peaking out of his trousers, gay, approached me with a raised brow.

"Uhh... yes?"

He laughed, "Dude, you're a bigger nerd than me!"

"No offense, Sirius, but that's saying something," Nathalia giggled.

"Did you seriously use a Iron Man pick up line on us?"

"Depends."

"On?" the sole blonde asked.

"Are you all going to laugh?"

"Yes," the four girls and Stanley replied.

"Alright, I did. Happy? It was the first thing that came to mind!"

"That was the first thing to pop into your genius brain?" Alie snickered.

"You know, most people say something like 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?'"

"Funny, that's not the first time someone's called me Lucifer," I said.

"You know what I mean!" Arista smiled. "You guys try!"

"Hey," Nathalia got our full attention, "I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?"

I let out a bark of a laugh and so did the host near me.

"Okay, my turn! I think it's time to tell you what people've been saying behind your back. NICE ASS!"

"Thank you, I know I have a nice butt," Stanley and I replied. We looked at eachother for the briefest of moments before laughing together.

"I hope you know CPR, because you're taking my breath away!" Alie flirted playfully, batting her mile long eyelashes for effect.

"Actually, I do know CPR," Stanley laughed, taking a seat next to me.

"Really? When did you learn?" the blonde asked.

"Two summers ago, actually," he responded with a smile, "I've been thinking about auditioning for the new Aquaman movie."

"Boo!" Nathalia shouted. "Fuck Aquaman! He's not even that cool."

The doors opened and there was a loud shout followed by blurs of white whizzing past people's faces, some barely dodging the items and getting hit. One of them being Alan. After the initial shock, those with the unidentified flying objects (Hehehe) nearby picked them up.

"It's a copy of_ Mack News_," Scarlett said, looking at the article in her twin's hands.

"Ooh, I've been waiting for this week's edition!" Starlett cooed, "And look who's on the cover~!"

"Well well, Sirius, looks like you've made the front cover," Keith waved the newspaper around in the air before engrossing himself in reading what his apparently close friend wrote.

"YEP!" And then the journalist herself skipped merrily into the room and smiled triumphantly. "Everyone, this is one of my best yet! Take a chance and read it. Skandar!" She looked at me, eyes shining brightly. "I have a copy for you to keep!"

"I-uh," No good reply. Capital d colon. **(D:)** "Wait, my name isn't Skandar!"

"I'm coming!" she ran over to my new habitat and thrust the _Mack News_ newspaper at me.

"Thank you?" I said, still unsure of what to say.

"You're welcome!" Kerri skipped off and joined the Prince whilst the male read his own copy.

* * *

><p>"Sookie! Can I have a word?" I re-entered the club room. After the excitement of the day and my new female friends urging me to read <em>Mack News<em>, I left to compose myself in the hallway restroom. It was interesting, I surprisingly enjoyed the attention and deeply appreciated how Alie and the others tried to make me feel comfortable. And they weren't my only customers. Diana came over and congratulated me on the good review, mentioning that some of my other clubmates were not so lucky. The Manning twins nearly spoke in sync, claiming that they are very pleased to finally meet 'the commoner with the famous mother', turns out they're the next Harmony Mackenzies in the gymnastic department (They don't care about the investigator part though). And the last was Viviana, who taught me a few words in Romanian.

I took in the sight, all the host members were sitting in a circle on cheap, blue, plastic chairs. There was one chair left next to Brian and Alan.

"Have a seat, we need to talk," Rex says in a faux soothing voice.

"And it's may I," Keith corrected.

"What's going on?" Fear and paranoia suddenly seeped into my pores and I planted my feet firmly to the ground. "Did I do something wrong? Was it the sexual pick up line? It just came out of my mouth before I could stop myself, honest."

Stanley laughed, "No, it's not that. We just want to have a civilized conversation like the mature... teenage adolescents that we are,"

"Right," I averted my eyes to the male dubbed Zero with his shoes off and eating a bag of dark chocolate M&Ms. Slowly, I reached that empty seat between the two friendliest looking hosts and stretched my tree trunk legs. "So.. who wants to start the drum circle?"

"That's not what this is, Sirius, I have something to tell you," Sookie stated, brown eyes staring at me from his seat next to the Genius and the Gentleman.

I let out a loud gasp, "Are you breaking up with me?"

The shorter male next to me tried to muffle a snicker, but it ended up sounding more like a chortle.

"No, I just thought you might like to know that I have a vagina."

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Wait what?" My eyes locked onto the boy/girl sitting a few feet away from me with relaxed shoulders and a humourless face. "Are you serious?"

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm Sookie. My sex is female."

Rolling my eyes at his/her little joke, I looked at all the other hosts sitting around with the same expressionless face.

"Sookie, this is a weird joke. Especially since the layout of this meeting screams Alcoholics Anonymous."

"It's not a joke," he/she defended. "Should I give your proof?"

My shoulders tensed a fraction, "You're not going to flash me, are you? Because I can't afford the therapy."

The rest of the members laughed.

"You wish, see a girl flash her tits at you or-"

"I'm not taking my top off!" Was Sookie's voice always that high pitched? I mean, Keith's is pretty high for a sixteen-seventeen year old male, but Sookie's is jumping straight into girl territory.

"Why not? I've never seen a girl topless," Alan whined.

"Am I the only one who's not interested in seeing Sookie's boobs?" the Nerdy type raised his hand.

"Speak for yourself," David cheered, oogling the guy/girl's perfectly flat chest. Wait, if Sookie were a girl then-

"If you're a girl, you have some very small breasts," I said.

His/her cheeks turned red and he/she narrowed his/her brown orbs at me. "Okay, one, I am NOT showing anyone my chest. Two, I just haven't had much growth in that department. Plus, I'm underweight, so not much fat is there. And three, here's a copy of my birth certificate. THAT'S my proof." Sookie revealed a piece of parchment from behind his/her back and handed it to Edmund until it was passed all the way to me.

Holding the certificate in my hand, I read through it. The parts that were hovering over a long black line were filled in by handwriting. As suspected, it was in French, but I could clearly read it:

**Certificate of Birth**

This Certifies that Sookie Jessica Walker sex Female was born to Louisa Linda Walker and Duke Emmett Sordino at Centre Hospitalier Jean Coulon at 19:10 on March 12th.

Born 6 lb. 3 oz. and 15 in. Single Birth.

Baby Walker was born in Gourdon France.

Doctor Signature: Olivia C. Agarwal

MS: Tankrid W. Belizaire

"Is this legit? Because there is a piece of me that believes that making a fake birth certificate is not hard for you richies." I flipped and turned and wiggled the certificate while I stared at it, looking for any telltale sign that it was a interesting attempt at a prank. But everything seemed normal, well, as normal as a French birth certificate should be.

"Yes, it's real," the ginger states, giving me a hard look. "I'm a girl posing as a boy in a co-ed, private school. I have my reasons, but no one here knows the full extent. Nor will you for that matter. All you need to know is that the Harmony Mackenzie Host Club's Prince/President is a female and I intend on keeping it a secret until I no longer have to masquerade as a male."

"Complete with two X chromosomes, no Y," Edmund mentions.

The oldest Smith rolls his dark eyes at the medical/biological statement.

"So you're saying that you're a girl," I reply dumbfounded.

"We have a real Stephen Hawkings here," says Keith whilst he crosses his legs and tucks his right elbow in his left hand.

I glare at the just as pale male. Yes, I realize my comment was stupid, but hey, there is no need-yeah, a sarcastic comment was totally necessary.

"So if you have no intention of telling me or anyone why you're a crossdresser, why tell me at all?"

"I feel that you are entitled to know seeing as though I have your future in my hands."

It's kind of scary knowing that my financial future is in the hands of a girl dressed like a boy who flirts with girls.

"Riiight, so I'm not judging you on your outer appearance, but is anyone else a crossdresser?"

Every REAL male replied with a no except for the Gentleman type who replied 'Fashion knows no gender'.

"Okay, so there is another condition, Sirius," the ginger says before twirling her hair between her fingers. "Since you know my secret, that means that if you EVER tell anyone, I will have my father kick you out of this school. No questions asked and you lose your hold on the Kirkland grant and will still owe me money, but now must find JOBS to pay me back."

I blinked, "You can't be serious."

"Of course I'm not," she giggled sweetly before coquettishly winking like a hostess, "Your name is Sirius, I'm Sookie~!"

Part of me wanted to wipe that flirty look off her face and the other half respected the golden gentlemen rule of not hitting girls... no matter how much of a boy they looked.

"You would honestly ruin my life if I revealed that you're actually a girl?"

"Yes, because crossdressing is a part of my own deal and if I don't continue being a male student, then what I am supposed to receive at the end of the deal with not be given to me. And how simple is it to tell people that Sookie Jesse Walker is a boy? Not that freaking hard if you ask me."

"It really isn't," Stanley piped in, reaching over Ricky to get some M&Ms from Hector.

"Okay, okay, I understand that I have a lot at risk if I let your secret slip. But wouldn't you rather tell people?"

"Have you not been listening?" Edmund hissed.

"I have! Sookie, these girls that pay to talk to you, they have no idea that they're flirting and touching a flat chested girl."

"Watch it," Rex warned while looking at the anger sparkling in the redhead's brown eyes.

"To be honest, I feel bad for tricking the girls, who wouldn't? But part of my deal besides the pretending I'm a boy is that I have to make a name for myself. What better way than to be a sophisticated, well groomed, ladies man with a famous and somewhat notorious club?"

"I prefer a highly functioning sociopath with good grades anyday," I shrugged my shoulders, "Just saying."

"Am I the only one who doesn't believe they're speaking English?" Hector raised his hand.

"Not just you," Brian raised his own hand along with Stanley.

"Leave it to the Freshmen and Caveman to be confused," Alan snickered.

"Wait, wait, wait, we're straying off topic," the Gentleman stated. "I'm going to lay down the law in layman's terms since our younger hosts and Stan are getting confused and quite frankly, I have reservations with my father and grandparents at_ Bellatrix's Bistro_ at six and it takes me about a hour to dress and half to moisturize my face (He moisturizes his face? Yep, he's definitely gay). Sirius, let people believe Sookie is a boy, it's not that hard. She never accepts any relationships from girls, so it's fine. And you may tell your brother, he has no use for that information. Sookie, be nice, if he does blow your cover, then at least set him up with a job to pay you back. Deal?"

"Deal," the girl and I said simultaneously.

"If that's it, I have a copy of_ Gears of War 3_ waiting for me to pick it up at_ Gamestop_, soooooo... Bye, bitches." The dark haired male specimen that is the Flirty type stood up from his seat and walked to the large doors to leave.

"Guess I'm going to go home to play_ Assassins Creed_ on my 360, bye," Ricky waved before plucking a green M&M out of Stanley's fingers and popping it into his mouth and exiting.

Slowly but surely, all the males disappeared behind those lavish and large doors until only Sookie and I were left in the room staring at eachother. Neither of us moved for a while until she uncrossed her legs from that manly way to the more feminine way of crossing her short legs.

"Any questions?" the ginger breaks the silence.

I think for a moment. It's obvious she will not tell me why she's a crossdresser or why she has a host club to make a name for herself. So I settle for the less Sookie angering questions.

"Yes. Will I come to enjoy being a host?"

"I'm sure you will, this job can be... fun in ways. You meet girls from different backgrounds and races who want to have a simple chat or make them feel good about themselves even if they're paying for it."

"Again, lying," I pointed out.

"I understand that you have realized that half of our customers come here only to flirt with attractive guys and eat highly fattening pastries, but the other half is one of the reasons why I made the club. You wouldn't understand what it's like to be a girl and have no one of the opposite sex notice you. And before you think I was one of them, shut up. I had suitors back in France, but I preferred not to accept their advances because a boyfriend would require me to devote my time and love to them. But my friends would whine and whimper about not being pretty and not having guys compliment them and mean it for real. The golden rule that I neglected to tell you was that we never lie to our customers. On the surface, these girls only care about sales at _Forever 21_, but somewhere they cry about not being what they want to be in life. But others desperately want to be complimented and genuinely feel like someone thinks they're beautiful."

I gulped back the lump in my throat. Wow, kudos for Sookie for making me seem like a total douche. Now I won't be able to get rid of this nagging feeling that Sookie is right about this.

"Got it, lying about what I think is good about them is bad. Be honest to the customers, it's what they deserve."

"Right, would you like a ride home? It's no trouble," she offered, giving me a soft smile while standing up.

"No, thank you. But you can have Mister Sir drop me off somewhere else."

"Sure thing, let's go. Oh, and don't forget your bag this time~."

* * *

><p>I'm pretty sure that my eyes are still glazed over as I continued to look at the copy of<em> Mack News <em>with four pictures on the front page. One was of the journalist herself, with a bubbly smile on her face and a pen touching her puckered lips. It was above the article, but next to her name. The one she took of me at the end of the interview was in between paragraphs. And the last two were of me at the beginning and one that brought tears to my eyes. She had taken a picture from a different news article featuring my mum and manipulated the picture, so that she was facing me and smiling. The caption underneath the two said:

Sirius Delarosario is making his mother proud up in heaven.

"'Today, I took the time early this morning to interview the newest addition to Harmony Mackenzie Host Club. Sirius Delarosario is a twelfth grader who is attending school on a scholarship. He is the only one that is not from a wealthy or powerful family, thus making him a nice addition to the popular club. Several weeks ago, said male stumbled into the Third Music Room and broke the bust of Sir Ronan Mackenzie IV, the father of the school's founder. Immediately he was sent to trial and was put into a sort of indentured servant relationship with the club. Sookie Walker, the son of Duke Kirkland and President of the host club, arranged for Wooster to become a butler to the host club until his sixty six million dollar debt was paid in full. Just yesterday, Walker gave Wooster a makeover and bought him a standard uniform. As of today, he is a official host.'"

Mister Theodore stopped to take a breather before reading the paragraph underneath my candid picture. "I, Kerri Cleary, dub him the Knight type. Mostly because for those of you who were around when Sirius was still a butler, he spilled tea over Sophomore Diana Lawrence's lap. Kindly, he offered her his own shorts and cleaned her skirt for her. I don't know about you, but I think he'll save a damsel in distress by graduation... or a box of orange kittens. Whichever comes first."

"'You can listen to a audio of Sirius Wooster's interview on the _Mack News_ website. Questions like his sexuality and his favorite actor are all on it. But the part that will not be in it is my Kerri Cleary super exclusive soul staring. Wooster let me stare into his eyes for maybe three minutes or less. And in that time, I looked past my reflection, his eyes, and into him. There was lots and lots of sadness, but also some sweet happiness that's probably from being with his brother and going to a awesome school. Rest assure ladies and gays that Sirius Wooster is a host that you will love visiting. Since this is Wooster's last year, soon he will be going to college, law school, and later becoming a attorney. Let's wait and see what Mister Sirius Wooster has in store for us this school year.'"

I looked up at the dark skinned man AND my clubmates's older brother. He had a amused look on his aged face and a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Looks like you're going to be quite the celebrity, Sirius," Mister Theodore said, pushing the copy of _Mack News_ back to me. "Kerri Cleary, she's the daughter of Paul Cleary, our governor, right?"

"Not sure, don't keep up with politics," I replied sheepishly. "It's one of those things I don't care for. Like the solar system."

"I see," the man laughed before going to stand next to the large window behind his desk. "She's right though, your mother would be proud of you."

My lips turned into a tight line at the mention of her. Dante and I try not to talk about her much unless it's close to the anniversary of her death or we talk about saving up for law school.

"You really think so, Mister Theodore?" I asked, raising my hands to grip tightly on the beautifully carved desk.

"Sirius, I knew Divina since Dante was born. He's what, twenty seven now? I was asked to teach a lecture at the local law school when I met your mother. Bright and brilliant she was, I took her under my wing and when she passed the bar exam, we went into business with eachother. There is a reason why this firm still has Delarosario in it. You will take her place once you pass the bar as well. I'd hope the Smith part would stay, but as you know, Rex and Hector have no interest in following after their brother."

"Then have a kid," I quipped.

The black male laughed, "Maybe, I'm getting old though."

"Then you better get started. I have to go, Mister Theodore. Dante's expecting me home. Goodbye."

"Bye, Sirius. Tell Dante I said hi."

"Will do, sir," I grabbed my stuff and left the office.

* * *

><p><em>I guess in a way I am thankful for the Harmony Mackenzie Host Club. Not only had I made more friends in a week than I had in seventeen years, but I had just discovered that I'm not the only genius in the world. Sookie Walker, the crossdresser who knows how to flirt with other girls and still manages to keep her true sex hidden from those outside of the Host Club. And Edmund Pevensie, financial record keeper of the club who also co-founded said club with "Prince Sookie". Mister Theodore was right... the first step on the road of recovery and self exploration is allowing your troubles to melt away like ice cream under the hot Sun... I guess those silly country sayings aren't a hunk of bologna after all.<em>

_Only those with excellent social standings and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time at the elite private school Harmony Mackenzie Academy. The Mackenzie Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Harmony Mackenzie Academy's elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful._

* * *

><p><strong>EnglishFrench Translation and References:**

Merci- thank you

Monsieur- mister

Mon Ami- my friend

Les Belles Princesses- the beautiful princesses

Oui or non?- yes or no?

Cheri- dear or sweetheart

Noir loup- black wolf

Monsieur Sookie... poupee Ken- Mister Sookie, I understand that I'm not as high class as you, but I would appreciate it if you did not treat me like a Ken doll.

Magnifique... Comprende?- Wonderful, Mister Sirius. Rest assure that I'm in no way trying to drastically change you. Think of it as more of a touch up job, so that no one will think of you as their lesser just because your curls tend to make you look like a dandelion and your lack of a school issued uniform. Understand?

Allons-y- Let's go

* * *

><p>Sorry this took so long! I mean, I promised it would be up mid last month, but then I got bored and then started reading Halex and Thunderfrost fanfics. And now Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America are all up on Netflix along with several shows about cold cases and animals and Lord of the Rings... so yeah, got super distracted. But I hope you enjoyed it. It was longer than what I expected. But I wanted to get the main points of Ouran High school Host Club and the RP's storyline to establish everything. So subscribe to this story, review, and put this in your favs! Peace, love, and Korean beauty stores!<p> 


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